I heard a complaint recently that Hollywood is not making movies for the older demographic but HOPE SPRINGS really delivers for the 50+ crowd. Finally, we get to see a mindful movie that deals with issues in the bedroom in a very conscious and realistic way.
Meryl Streep (playing Kay) and Tommy Lee Jones (playing
Arnold) deliver believable and lovable characters that show us a secret world
of therapy, marital dysfunction, and the desire to change. Steve Carell (Dr.
Feld) plays such a serious role that you forget it’s him and he really embodies
the genius of a good therapist. One
immediately falls for Meryl’s character because she seems to love her
husband so much, despite appearing as a bit of a doormat housewife. At first we are frustrated with Tommy Lee’s
character but he changes so much through the course of the movie that we are
rooting for him and loving him for his vulnerability as well.
I learned in my Master’s program in Spiritual Psychology
that “perfect vulnerability is perfect protection” and this is truly the main
message from this spiritual film. Kay
and Arnold start off without any intimacy but through Kay’s deep commitment to
herself and the marriage, transformation and healing begin. I also learned in my Master’s that “healing
is the application of loving to the places inside that hurt” and this we also
bear witness to in this film.
Kay and Arnold begin to look inside to see how they
have been hurt in the past, how they didn’t express their true feelings, ask
for what they wanted, and how they started to shut down and protect their loving
hearts from pain. Through this self-examination and willingness to work together (despite loads of resistance from Arnold) they start to open up to the possibility that it doesn’t have
to be this way anymore. Their choice to choose love over fear becomes the change-agent in their
relationship.
Although I have never been to couples counseling, I could still relate to what these characters go through in how uncomfortable it can
be feel to be vulnerable in front of both a loved one and stranger. I felt so
much compassion for both Kay and Arnold as they work to save their marriage and
fumble along, often taking two steps back for every step forward. And yet, the reason why this movie works is
because it is so authentic and realistic, and I felt like I was right there in counseling with them.
I could also empathize because I feel like I have seen so
many marriages end up this way: as roommates or friends living together where
the romance has died and intimacy is lost.
I felt surges of different emotions as Kay and Anrold’s marriage so
closely resembled my parents'. And I know
there are many, many more couples like this out there and my thought was that
this movie could really help couples dealing with similar issues. It was also a loud warning signal to me to
always make my relationship and my husband (when he gets here!) a
priority. Intimacy is a priceless,
spiritual connection that has to be kept sacred. The truth in a relationship is freeing and
since men and women speak such different languages there has to be a commitment
to express authentically, listen, and understand each other.
I won’t ruin the ending of the film but let’s just say that
I am always grateful for feel-good film finishes because they leave us hopeful,
grateful for the shared human condition, and inspired to change for the
better.
I acknowledge this film for committing to showcasing
a real issue, especially amongst older couples, that is often overlooked and not
dealt with because the vulnerability can be uncomfortable. As more movies are made like HOPE SPRINGS and
SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK where we, as content creators and audiences alike, take a look at some of
the real shadows in humanity and bring light, humor, and love to them; we all
will be healed.
Entertain - Enlighten - Inspire,Kate Neligan - Founder/CEO of Mindful Media Entertainment & Synergy TV
